


Just Another Bad Day

by AceOnIce



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, References to Depression, Sad Magnus Bane, Supportive Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22488316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOnIce/pseuds/AceOnIce
Summary: Magnus has a Bad Day. Alec makes sure he doesn't have to suffer alone.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 18
Kudos: 199





	Just Another Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i39fan8ow-o

Magnus was having a Bad Day. 

The moment he woke up he'd known _something_ was off, but Alec was in his arms, capturing his attention. His delightful boyfriend had kissed him goodbye and Magnus had gone back to sleep without a second thought. 

When his alarm went off a while later and Magnus woke up again, the feeling had grown. With no distraction at his fingertips, he realized he knew the emotion too well. The way it made his heart hurt and filled his stomach with lead. He could only lay in bed, the heaviness of his body holding him hostage. By the time his alarm started going off for the fourth time, Magnus had gathered the strength to roll over and grab his phone. He turned off the alarm and cancelled all of his appointments for the day. Then he turned over and went back asleep.

The third time Magnus woke up it was to claws digging into his chest. Chairman Meow was sitting on his stomach, kneading his shirt. The sun was high in the sky, spilling light into his room. He checked his phone and saw it was already noon. Of course he'd already wasted half the day in bed.

Magnus sighed when his bladder forced him out of bed, dislocating his cat. He found an upbeat playlist on his phone to listen to, hoping it might improve his mood, while he used the restroom and then went to the kitchen. He fed The Chairman and made himself tea and toast, movements slow and robotic. He ate at the table, listening to his music, and looking out the window. It was easier to think about nothing than to think about how he felt.

By the time he finished his food and drank half his tea, Magnus was already feeling the weight of the world coming back to rest on his shoulders. He wanted to go back to sleep. He pressed his face into his hands, body shaking with the effort of holding back sobs. He didn't even know why he wanted to cry. 

Leaving his dishes on the table- he would do them later- Magnus grabbed a random book off his shelf and returned to bed, propping a pillow behind his back and pulling the blanket up around him. At least reading would be a distraction.

Some time later his phone beeped with a text. Magnus glanced at it, only opening it when he saw it was from Alec.

_Izzy said you cancelled your appointment with her. Everything okay?_

Magnus put his book down and stared at his phone. He didn't want Alec to worry- especially when he was at work. He was physically fine. Or he would be when the bone-deep exhaustion passed. The voice at the back of his head hissed that he was only distracting Alec from more important things. That Alec would get annoyed, having to deal with Magnus' bad days. Magnus knew the voice was only a manifestation of depression, a part of his mind that was lying to him, using his fears against him, but that knowledge didn't bring any comfort.

Before he'd realized it, the screen had gone dark. He shifted until he was curled up on the bed, setting his phone on top of his book. He told himself he'd think about how to respond even as he closed his eyes and sleep swept over him once again. 

"Magnus!"

Magnus was stirred awake at the sound of his own name, groggy from too much sleep. He squinted at his phone. It was after five, but still too early for Alec to be home. Except, he was. His voice drifted from somewhere in the loft. "Magnus!"

Magnus swallowed, his throat dry, and opened his mouth to respond. He took too long. Alec was suddenly in the doorway, face lined with worry. "Mags, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." The words tasted bitter on his tongue. Alec didn't seem to believe him, moving in closer and kneeling on the bed near Magnus. Alec pushed some of Magnus' hair from his forehead, reminding him that he hadn't taken the time to do his hair or makeup or even get dressed. He was, quite obviously, a mess. 

"What's wrong?"

Magnus looked down at his own hands, picked at the nail polish that was beginning to chip. His voice was softer this time, "I'm fine."

"You didn't text me back." 

Alec's voice was more worried than accusatory and Magnus felt his eyes well with tears. He'd made his beautiful boyfriend worry about him because he hadn't been able to take two seconds to text back. He swiped at his eyes, angry at his body for betraying him. "I'm sorry." He hated when his voice cracked.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." A gentle touch on his Magnus' left arm made him look up. Alec still looked worried. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Magnus couldn't stop himself from moving in closer, folding himself into Alec's chest. Alec's arms looped around him and he could no longer stave off his emotions. He clung to Alec's chest, his body heaving with his sobs. He felt heavy and sad and ashamed- and he couldn't stop crying!

Alec's held him tightly, whispering sweet nothings into his hair, until Magnus regained control of himself. He shifted away, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. He touched his fingertips to Alec's chest. "I got your shirt wet."

"I don't care about that. Please talk to me, Mags, I want to help."

Magnus sighed and let go of his boyfriend completely. He moved back on the bed, curling his knees to his chest and staring at the wall. It made finding his words a little easier. "I have a bit of depression. Usually, it's manageable. I have more good days than not, but occasionally... I have a bad day."

"And that's what happened today?"

Magnus nodded, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. He was terrified, waiting for Alec's reaction, waiting for Alec to get upset, say he was too much to handle. He was already a lot on a good day. 

"Was there anything in particular that caused this? Did I do something?"

"Absolutely not!" Magnus let go of his legs and refocused his gaze on Alec. Alec who was still kneeling on the bed, a large wet patch on his shirt. "You did nothing wrong, Alexander. I've been overworking myself and it caught up to me."

Alec nodded, his jaw tight. It was the expression he always wore when he was trying to solve a problem. Magnus supposed he was the problem in this case. He wondered what solution Alec would arrive at.

Finally Alec reached out, grabbing one of Magnus' hands and interlacing their fingers. "Is there anything I can do?"

Magnus blinked back at him. "What?"

"Can I... help? Can I do anything?"

A fresh wave of tears rushed to the surface, but Magnus' chest was a little lighter. Alec wasn't running away. "Hold me?"

"Of course, any time."

Alec gently tugged him down, arranging them until Alec was on his back, Magnus half on top of him, held tightly in his arms. He pulled the blanket over them and Magnus listened to Alec's heartbeat under his ear. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on the steady noise instead of the darkness in his head. It was a little easier to do when he was wrapped up like this- safe and _home._

In a little while Alec would make sure he ate and drank some water and took a shower. They would talk through things. Alec would tell him he never had to be worried about being too much. He'd fall asleep feeling better than he had all day. He would wake the next morning feeling slightly unsettled, but much better. He would realize that the Bad Days would never disappear completely, but that when they did happen, Alec would be there with soft words and firm hugs and endless comfort. The Bad Days weren't so bad when he wasn't alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Oops I projected my own issues onto Magnus. I could've written depressed Alec, that's closer to canon, but I just wanted to write Magnus Bane getting some comfort.


End file.
